Back in Virginia

Posted: February 14, 2020                                      Previous Posts:
About:  May 2019          Last Days in Florida: Rainbow Springs and Gamble Rogers
                                                                         March and Early April 2019

I’ve heard that readers have been getting confused about the posts I’ve put up since I resumed blogging.  I began this new blog, On My Own, at the end of my old one, Direction of Our Dreams, when my husband David died of Multiple Myeloma after a 7 year battle.  Each subsequent post on this blog has been about the months following that.  At some point I hope to be posting in real time.  This post talks about the month of May 2019. 3 months after David’s death.  I hope this isn’t too confusing.

May 2019:

Back in Virginia I began the dozens of telephone calls to deal with the medical bills I have received for David’s treatment his last few months of life.  I’ve learned not to bother with them for months until the insurance company works it all out and sends me at least two notices that they have paid all they are going to pay.  My vehicle registration stickers have never shown up so I have to call about those.  There is so much “business” and I hate every bit of it.

Lucky me, in early May Carrie, Celia and Colin came to visit so Carrie could attend her high school reunion.  We had a wonderful time as always but Carrie and I were both really missing David.

This was the first time we’d been back at the house without him.  No more cherry pie, no more BIG farm breakfasts, no more fun playing games together.

It makes me very sad that his grandchildren may not even remember him.  Colin certainly won’t and Celia will only be 3 later this month.

The internet signal is extremely weak here and the temperatures in the mid 80’s in the middle of May are unusually hot and humid. 

We keep a car and a truck at the farm as well as a riding lawn mower.  All 3 batteries were dead when I returned.  That has never happened in 9 years on the road now.  OF course it hasn’t.  This makes getting the nearly knee high grass mown very difficult.  I have someone who is supposed to mow it.  Looks like he’s not very reliable.  Although the buttercup filled yard is very sweet and  Celia and I can make out the brick walk as we bring in boxes to use in the clearing out Carrie has come to help me do.

Colin helps by being his cute self although he is quite the distraction and interruption in the progress.

My musical family at play.

I wait until they have gone home to clean out the RV. I don’t want to ask Carrie to have to help me with her Dad’s clothes, hats, medicine.  It’s all very very difficult.  And so incredibly sad.  He was so alive, so young really when I think of my 99 year old father.

His favorite hats

So much medicine.  How he kept it all straight was amazing.  Taking some in the morning, some mid day, some at night.  I return it all to UVa Hospital where they dispose of it for me.  Not sorry to see it go but very sad all the same.  He tried so hard to fight this terrible disease even knowing it was ultimately a losing battle.

David was a well known pack rat which was another reason we didn’t sell the farm at first when we went fulltime.  First we weren’t sure we would like RVing having been serious and rather snooty tent campers for years.   When we loved it, luckily we didn’t come back and take the time necessary to clean everything out and sell it.  It would cut severely into the time David was able to spend traveling.  We were always going to clean out and sell “next time”.   Then came the diagnosis and we were afraid to sell in case he could not continue to travel at some point.  His doctors had said he had three to five years. 

He wanted to stay on the road as long as he could which turned out to be forever.   But now I’m left with all the “stuff”.  David’s sister Robin comes to help with some clean out and takes these wonderful old metal toys from their family with her.

Among a myriad of other boxes and drawers we went through, we found this match collection.  The matches too old too strike having been kept in humid Virginia.  I later learn there is a market for these.  I don’t have the energy to deal with it even if I’d known before throwing them out.  He had several clear mushroom shaped jars full of these old matchbooks. 

I get the yard mowed finally after having days of trouble with the mower.  I took this picture as a “before” shot as I started to use the weed eater to get the grass off of the brick walkway.  

I take another shot some days later when I am “almost” finished with the walk clean up.

David also keep filing cabinetS full of papers.   Two in the house and two in a shed outside.   My friend Pam graciously spent an afternoon going through them to take out anything with social security numbers on it so I could shred those papers and recycle the rest.  What we found was just amazing and she kept me laughing rather than crying with her wry comments. 

Thank you Pam for making a tedious chore actual fun.  What a great friend you are!

I think even David would have had to laugh at some of what we found.  Like parking tickets from 1988 and a hospital bill for physical therapy he had for his back in 1971 before I even knew him.   How could these possibly be needed?   I’d give anything to be able to ask him and hear what funny response he would give.  

I miss you so David, packrat and all!!