Posted: February 19, 2020 Most Recent Posts
About: June 2019 Back in Virginia
Last Days In Florida
Unfortunately for me, I have just discovered that I must have left my journal covering June-Mid September of 2019 at the farm when I got back on the road. So I really do not have the information I need to write these catch up posts.
I have a few pictures but I am in such a fog, I really was not recording my life with
a camera. I am very sorry about this because the blog was supposed to be my best record of those very very difficult months after David’s death. But I don’t want to wait until I return to Virginia to get beyond this point. So know that this is a very skimmed view.
JUNE 2019
Early in June I got a small power washing machine to try and clean up Winnona since I cannot find anyone in the city of Charlottesville or nearby who will wash and wax Winnona. I got her reasonably clean though she really needs more attention to detail and I ran out of time for waxing which of course in not too very long made all my efforts at washing moot. Not sure about the smile. I didn’t have much to smile about.
But then the first week-end in June, Carrie and Colin came to help with the house clean out.
I love this picture of them.
Finally about 20 years after leaving home, Carrie is cleaning out her childhood room. I think she takes after her father in keeping “momentos”
Colin and I are hanging out on the kitchen floor having some toast.
Carrie relaxes at the piano. Before she went to law school, she was a very fine award winning musician on both piano and flute. It was wonderful having the house full of her music while she was growing up. Both her father and I missed it when she went off to college.
Our family of 3 loved games and we have a HUGE collection of them. Whenever Carrie comes, we have always played one or two.
In addition to cleaning out the inside of the house, there was a lot of necessary work on the property that had been put off in order to allow us to keep constantly traveling which is what David wanted to do.
In mid June, I used the money from a small life insurance policy that David had left to have some necessary tree and road work done.
There are really 3 trees that need work around the house and in the barnyard but on this day only two of them got attention.
The one behind the shed had been growing into the building for years. Sentimental David didn’t want to cut it down because it was such a large and beautiful tree. But over this winter, limbs had come down and put holes in the roof of the shed which also will have to be repaired. The tree in question is shading the shed and undermining its foundation which can be seen in the picture above.
The young man who did the tree work was the nephew of the man who did the work on the driveway with his sons. That’s usually how it works in the country. It’s a family affair.
I wish I had pictures of “before”. It was a huge tree as you can see from the base.
Such a shame to have to lose such a giant tree. Breaks my heart but it was that or the building..
The tree work was done in one day, while the road work took many days.
This is just the start of the ditching and grading and then there was gravel.
The second tree is a pecan and needed to have dead and broken limbs taken out. I had been working inside the house when the young man climbed up in the big tree and limbed it before taking it down. I had no idea it could happen so fast. He really knew what he was doing. But when I found out, I stayed outside to watch how he did the second tree. He sets up pulleys to pull himself up into the tree.
With the larger tree gone, the pecan to its left is more clearly visible. You can see the ropes he put on the limbs he was going to cut in order to make sure they would fall where he wanted them to.
He started with the lower limbs but the whole thing made me very nervous to watch.
Safe back on the ground I took this picture with all the gear he had all over himself.
While the tree work was finished in a day, the road work went on for many days. It is a 3/4 of a mile drive back off of a small country road into this little hidden valley we live in.
Out the upstairs master bedroom window this is the view of the Blue Ridge Mountains and the farm road.
Also out that window was a family of Carolina Wrens one morning enjoying the porch rockers.
I spent many days of June clearing the fence line around the house so that it could eventually be repaired and painted. I didn’t think to take a picture until I’d hauled off most of what I had cut.
A lot more work went on in June but I didn’t take pictures of much of it. I didn’t think about it and was too busy. But being forced to do the work did keep me putting one foot in front of the other.
These views toward the mountains from down on the ground.
At the end of June, Carrie sent me these pictures after we had been talking on the phone. Apparently Celia was talking too on an old cell phone, not sure to whom. Love the crossed legs while she’s “chatting”.
This picture just brings a smile to my face. Something apparently didn’t quite go her way. What an expressive child she is. It breaks my heart that her Papa will never get to see all these great expressions.
I'm thinking it's not easy to write these stories, yet I am glad to read them. The farm is such a beautiful space. You continue to put a lot of heart into it. I've watched guys take down huge trees and there's a special skill involved. Those last shots of Celia are so you and Carrie.
ReplyDeleteYes they are hard to write and I so appreciate your still being with me through it.
DeleteThe Farm is lots of work, but you seemed to get plenty done. Yes being busy helps. Your gand babies are so beautiful love Celia on the phone LOL
ReplyDeleteIt is a lot of work but being busy really does help.
DeleteI'm always amazed at how we throw ourselves into the work around us to help us ease those hardest minutes, hours and days. Before we know it weeks have passed and we look back at the work but wonder at the time spent doing it. Did that much time really slip past while I was busy just breathing, just doing. The answer is yes, and you will find yourself doing that often, being just busy to help ease through those hard minutes, hours and days ahead as well. Don't worry about forgetting the journal, just write from the heart and your memory. You will remember the time as a blur in the years ahead,even with the written words you share. You have no need to remember the pain, hurt and anger, you need only to remember you made it.
ReplyDeleteThe photos are wonderful! It's amazing what can be caught on camera. You are fortunate to have Carrie and the children come to visit and spend some time healing with you. Keep doing what you're doing, it's working. Deb
I am very fortunate to have Carrie and the children. So sad that David is missing so much. Thank you Deb for your encouragement.
DeleteI loved all the photos recording your work. It makes me realize how much younger you are than I, because I could never do all that work! Things look beautiful there - I think that is probably the loveliest part of the country.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gypsy. Spring in the Virginia mountains is always a beautiful time.
DeleteI love your blog . I hoe you keep it up. I have so many wonderful memories of the Blue Ridge Parkway and the Smokey Mountains. I often wonder how close we were to your farm.
ReplyDeleteI hope to keep it up Betty just as I hope you'll keep commenting. I really encourages me. So glad you have wonderful memories of our mountains.
DeleteMusic makes my heart sing....I would love to hear Carrie play!!! One of these days I would love to see your farm. I feel like I know it a bit since it means so much to you and David. Celia and Colin are absolutely adorable:o))))
ReplyDeleteMusic does make the heart sing Nancy. I hope you can some day come by to see the farm although it's a very windy narrow mountain road even for your new slimmed down Baby.
DeleteI had no idea that you had that much work done on the road. I didn't see the "before," but the "after" was very nice. I love these pictures. As I said before, I see David in Colin. They are both so adorable, and I know what you mean about them not knowing David as they grow. Fortunately, they will have your blog to read about the last years of his life and will know how much he loved the outdoors, good food, and his ability to bake pies and fix anything! Love the pictures and the farm. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you Pam for being such a good friend to us both and for your comments. I am so glad you got to come out to the farm and see it in "real life". I hope your sister is continuing to improve.
DeleteSo glad we got to meet you and David in Maine.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful remembrance your blog "In the Direction of Our Dreams" is. . .and what a journey of remembering your blog "On My Own Days" is going to be.
Thanks again for sharing as you move forward "one step at a time." There is no timetable for grief, and that is a fact. On Feb 13, our son would have turned 41. . .39 years later that is still a very, very tough day.
Just know we understand. Hugs and prayers for peace, and healing!
Thank you so much Janice for your comment, your understanding and good wishes. I hope to remember David's birthday more strongly than his death day. Grief seems like a very long and hard road.
DeleteI know there were more details you could have included with your journal; however, this is a very full post. I laughed at that picture of me in my room with everything everywhere! Such cute pictures of the kids and I will always be impressed with all the work you did during such a very hard period. That tree work was mighty impressive and those farm view pictures are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's the next post that is going to be big trouble. NO idea about July without the journal. I hoped you'd like that picture of you on the floor there. I love you!!
DeleteThe farm just gives me happy, homey feelings... love the pictures.. That was a BIG tree!!!
ReplyDeleteYour grandchildren are so darling.. Carrie looks good.
Looks like LOTS of work...good, clean work. And such satisfaction when completed..Thinking of you, wish you well.. I know you are back in Florida and hope things ore going good for you. Take Care and God Bless
Yes Loree it was a very big tree which is why David kept putting off dealing with the fact that it was growing into the shed. He loved big trees. I hated to cut it. Thank you for your good wishes. One day I'll get caught up to now. Sooner than I thought if I have to skip the 3 months without the journal.
DeleteWhat a HUGE amount of work you accomplished. I don't know how you managed it all. I'm glad Carrie and Colin came to visit (so funny, the photo of Carrie with all of her 'treasures'...reminds me of what we're dealing with right now with my parents' lifetime collection). Love the photos of you and Carrie with Colin, and also the photos of Celia.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I didn't finish it all and I don't know how I managed what I did accomplish. I wish I had taken more pictures in July to show the painter I hired who turned into a 'just like David can do anything person'. A HUGE gift to me at the time I most needed it.
DeleteI agree, you've accomplished a lot, both at the farm and on the road. You probably have piles more to do, but it will get done. I'm sure David is smiling down on you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie. One step at a time and eventually. . .
DeleteWow, you have been hitting it hard. That view is amazing.
ReplyDeleteThanks. It's one of the reasons we didn't sell the farm at first when we went Full time and then the year we were going to, David was diagnosed and then we were afraid to since we could never afford to buy somewhere as nice today.
DeleteI remember having to clear out all the stuff my kids kept in our basement before we sold our VA house and went full time. Such precious things that they had to keep and never missed when I threw them away. Have to laugh now that they are having their own kids saving precious stuff. :cD
ReplyDeleteNice that Carrie still can play beautiful music on your piano, I love piano music. Took 10 years of piano lessons myself and can barely play a note. So I just enjoy other talented people playing instead.
What I wish is that I could play without music, by ear. Those are the real musicians IMO. Thanks for keeping up with me Paul. It's lonely out here on my own.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely part of the world your farm is. You certainly kept busy!
ReplyDeleteBummer you didn't have the journal to continue your goal on the blog. Perhaps you'll want to capture that additional reflection in a retrospective later on. June at the farm was so lovely, and you got a lot done. Those trees are huge! Carrie's "collection" is hysterical - I bet she found a lot of memories in all of that. As beautiful and serene as the farm is, I'm glad you're back on the road. Hopefully it's getting easier as you continue to transition. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteThe farm looked great when we were there for the memorial. I kept remembering all the times spent with David there. He always had something lined up for us to do. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to accomplish all that work on your own. A big thank you for that!
ReplyDeleteI imagine all of that work would have had its own benefit, keeping you busy. But a lot of mixed feelings too.
ReplyDeleteYour grandchildren are just precious. And your farm is lovely. Such a peaceful place for you. I can see why you are such a peaceful, centered soul.
ReplyDelete