Posted: February 12, 2020 Previous Posts:
About April 2019 March & Early April 2019
February & March 2019: Missing David
I stayed in Silver Springs State Park through the ACC Basketball Tournament so I could watch my team, the Virginia Cavaliers, win the NCAA. Finally they have a terrific coach, Tony Bennett, and a great team. David and I have followed ACC basketball all of our lives together and loved to watch the games splitting our loyalty between UNC our first ACC Team and UVA our longest ACC team. The last picture I have of him he was watching the Cavs play. It breaks my heart that he didn’t get to see them win the National Championship after following both the men’s and their women’s teams for over 30 years.
On Monday April 8th, I pack up and move to Rainbow Springs hopefully for some more wonderful paddling. Being on the water is really the only thing that takes my mind away even for an hour or so from the difficulty that is my life right now.
Although that didn’t really happen here on this river this time. After the calming Silver River, the Rainbow was quite a jar. Across the river from the park and all up and down are houses on the water. Even early in the morning there were saws, power drills, hammers at the houses lining the bank of the river opposite the park nearly all the way to the spring.
Would you like to buy some property on the river? Make your own building noise and disturb the quiet beauty? Perhaps this red shouldered hawk is a resident.
Still, it’s a beautiful day on the river. Just not a quiet one.
In addition to the noise from the houses, there are motor boats and commercial scuba boats.
This female anhinga doesn’t seem to mind the racquet and is just trying to dry her wings on the pilings of a private dock.
The water near the spring is crystal clear. The sand is white. I wonder how many of the people who live elbow to elbow on this river come out in kayaks or canoes to appreciate the beauty.
Enjoy the blue eyes of this Cormorant while I whine about still having pain in my leg from injuring my back last week. I’m spending most of my days on the river in the morning and on the phone after that with Social Security, the Virginia Retirement System, our medical Supplement from Blue Cross and our bank. I call each multiple times to be sure my health care is being paid among other things. It’s a big problem being on the road as several of these companies don’t have a clue and want to send me everything I need in the mail rather than allow me to access it on line. I wonder what century they are living in. The Virginia Retirement System is the worst.
I have so much business to do in the aftermath of David’s death that it seems impossible. In order to keep myself somewhat sane and out of the absolute pit of depression, I go out on the water early every morning for a couple of hours. From previous visits here I know there is a beautiful hidden channel with a cabin at the end with the spring head there. I think it will be the perfect place to get away from all the building noise on the river.
What a gorgeous little spring run. It is shallow and crystal clear. As it narrows, I can feel the pressure sliding off of me in this completely separate and magical universe.
But I don’t make it to the spring head and sight of the little cabin. There is now a very nice fence blocking the way. I’m so disappointed.
I don’t blame the owner though. It’s possible that there was vandalism or just that they are using the cabin more than in years past when I never saw any evidence of anyone there. I could probably get under it but if I owned this beautiful spot I wouldn’t take kindly to invasion of my privacy.
I wonder how they can kayak their own waters? I’d love to see how they open the gate while in the kayak or canoe.
I take a lot of pictures as I float back down on the current of the little spring. It’s unlikely that I’ll come back here again out of understanding and respect for the owner.
I may not even come back to Rainbow Springs as it is now so developed that it isn’t as blissful as past visits were. But that seems to have happened to a lot of things in my time as a Full Time RVer. There are so many people doing it now and reservations so hard to get nearly everywhere that it’s becoming more work than pleasure. Or perhaps that’s just my sad mood being reflected on everything I see and do.
Back to the mouth, the real world, houses everywhere.
The internet signal here is not strong and I”m having to go out of the park daily early in the morning to attempt to make reservations on line for next year’s winter. I’m having no luck. The advertising of RVing as the thing everyone should do is making it difficult, at least for me, to make reservations. SO many more people.
Each day on the water I see wood ducks which amazingly are not as skittish as I have always found them. Perhaps so many houses, boats and people has made them less wary.
After a week at Rainbow Springs, I leave and move across the state to Flagler Beach.
We always began our winter Florida stays at Gamble Rogers and it is my final stop before heading back to Virginia to see what needs to be done there in order to have a memorial gathering for David at the farm.
I love Gamble Rogers and having a site that overlooks the ocean but the salt air is very hard on the RV and I realize I really must get something done about the rust. I have so much on my plate right now it is hard to add anything more and I don’t really know how to get this taken care of.
This view though is what keeps me coming back.
While I am here closing out my Florida winter before heading back up the east coast, I find that I do not take many pictures at all. Sunrises, sunsets, the gorgeous view out the window. But I don’t go anywhere or do anything but business and a bit of reading on the beach. I’m in a fog and just have enough energy to deal with the “business” of death.
Here is what a tornado watch looks like over the ocean out my front window. No touch down near here thankfully.
But the winds were quite angry. It was loud. There is a great deal of spray which can be seen a bit in the picture below. I brought in my slides. Too much wind.
During our last stay here, in January, the month before his death, David rear ended Ruby with Winnona going about 2mph inside Gamble Roger’s Campground. I’m not sure what happened but clearly he was feeling worse than he was letting on. When I put in the Geico claim for this and told them he had died they said my rates will go up now that I no longer have a multi-driver discount and don’t have two good driver discounts. How to hit somebody when they are down and have just lost their life partner and half their income.
Sunsets have always seemed beautiful to me. Now they seem sad and lonely.
This is all hard. Very very hard.
At the end of April, I head North, back to Virginia and a lot more work.
Don't you just love it when somebody says, "can you fax that?" I mean really, how outdated. I haven't seen my snail mail in a month. It is getting harder to find those serene and peaceful places away from noise. Yet I think you do pretty well with the kayak. I'd think it would be almost meditative. I think your header picture says it all "BRAVE"
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about finding the serene and peaceful. I do love kayaking but not among powerboats and so much busyness.
DeleteAh,I am glad you had those early mornings at least...beautiful clear water despite the noise. So much change and 'stuff' to be done none of it fun. I can understand taking fewer pictures, although the ones you took were gorgeous, almost like paintings some of them. Love to you today and always ❤
ReplyDeleteThank you Carrie. I'm pleased you like the pictures. You are my darling!
DeleteThe endless paper work has to be weighing you down, hope you can get through that soon.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing that this post talks about nearly a year ago and I think the paperwork may be finished but I'm not sure. It's overwhelming.
DeleteOh how I agree with you on trying to get RV spots now...
ReplyDeleteThings sure have changed since we both first started. Pretty clear what publicity will do.
DeleteSad to hear about the development on Rainbow River...getting harder to find those quiet, peaceful places;-(( Same goes for winter reservations in Florida!!! However, your photos are beautiful and we hope those small moments of peace turn to hours and days for you soon.......
ReplyDeleteThanks Nancy. I'm glad you've found a winter spot that suits you and are out of the reservations game.
DeleteSherry, it just all sounds so daunting. I'm so glad you had your peaceful mornings on the river to help restore your spirit. We agree with you...despite the beauty of Rainbow Springs, we prefer other less developed rivers for our kayak adventures.
ReplyDeleteIt was daunting Laurel and felt never ending. Mornings on the water were a very necessary respite. Though this is not the best spot for that.
DeleteHey, I just checked back on this post and for the first time can see photos! The Wood Duck family is adorable! :-)
DeleteYour bird at water photos in the past couple posts are so beautiful and peaceful. Sorry you weren't feeling that way when you took them.
ReplyDeleteThe more I hear about people having trouble finding campsites, the happier I am that we are now off the road. It was good while it lasted!
Yes it appears we all got in at the end of the sweet times. Glad you've found a place you like being all the time. I know I will have to do that at some point but I do so like a new front yard often.
DeleteHi Sherry still dealing with my own loss exactly 90 days ago...and the pain and tears come and go no matter where I am if I get a reminder of some past event where Mom was with me or we were doing something fun together, I am suddenly at a complete loss and just break down.
ReplyDeleteI am not trying to hide my grief as I know I have to go through it...
I am loving your photo of the Wood Duck Young so precious. I hope your months since the day of leaving Florida last year has brought you several months of healing.
Thank you for your kind wishes Sondra. David's death is the hardest thing I've experienced in my life.
DeleteThe water in front of your kayak looks so clear and clean....don't see that in our parts. Too many people who think the river is their personal trash bin. Your photos are beautiful. Sorry you are still dealing with so much paperwork and trivia....Glad to see you are out kayaking and enjoying the beauty of our natural world
ReplyDeleteThe water here is clear and clean because Florida has protected its springs. The rest of its environmental record though is sadly not as good. The paperwork and STUFF does seem never ending. I'm glad you like the photos. Taking them gives me something to take my mind off the rest of my life.
DeleteAs always, beautiful pictures. All you can do is grab a little respite and pleasure when you can. Hope to see you when you return.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lynne
Thanks Lynne for your comment. I'm glad you enjoy the pictures. I'll be in Virginia in April. Let's make plans.
DeleteI think there is no help in working through grief; you just have to take one step at a time and go through it - no skirting around it or going back. I think you are doing quite well, and maybe in a year from now you will see the progress. I have no words to say how bad I feel for you, but I think you are right in getting out on the water in the mornings and reflecting, recording what you see, and just adjusting to this next phase of your life. Just give yourself time and let the grief work itself out. I am sure David is watching over you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this gentle encouraging comment Gypsy.
DeleteHmmmm, I commented on your first posts but don't see them anywhere? I'll post again here and hope you receive it. It's good that you keep a handwritten daily journal so you can capture your thoughts with all of your amazing photos. Your birds are so spectacular :-) I'm so glad you're blogging again, I've missed you bunches!
ReplyDeleteHow sweet of you Jodee to have missed me. Thank you.
DeleteYou had some amazing skies at the time.
ReplyDelete