September 2019: Memorial for David

Posted:  March 7, 2020                                                     Previous Posts:
About: September 2019        August 2019: Painting, More HEAT, Carrie, Colin & Puzzles
                                                                         Extreme Heat and Endless Work    

September 1st was Colin’s first birthday and he had a mighty fine time with his cake.

I wonder if as much went in his mouth as on his face.

The next week I went to work on trimming up the grape arbor.  You have to have seen the last post to know how outrageously overgrown it was.   It is clearly going to have to have some structural support work or be taken completely down which would be a shame for these vigorous scuppernong grapes.

Tanner,  our lucky niece Ashley’s fiancé, came out that same day and did some serious clearing around the pond so it can now be seen again from the yard.  Thank you Tanner.

He cut them down and hauled them away, load after load.

A picture of the tired and hot workers.  I’m afraid the arbor repair is not going to make the memorial deadline.

While we were doing this,  Celia was starting  pre-school and loving it.

The week before the memorial I am frantically working on a slide show of David’s life.  Have you ever tried to go through someone’s life in pictures?  I was in tears most of the time.  In the end there were over 1000 pictures running constantly on the TV in the den during the gathering.  Roger had also brought a show which I put in the west porch just off of the kitchen.  Someone must have taken a picture of it but I can’t find it.

Two days before the memorial, Tanner lettered some parking signs for me marking the entry to the field Shannon had mowed for people to park in.  Thank goodness Tanner is a talented graphic designer.  No one would want to see my attempts at sign making.

On the day before the memorial, Matthew, Carrie and the kids came to help with the set up.  I took these pictures of Celia just doing her thing and later realized that I also have pictures of her mother doing these same things if I could just find them.  

Celia is sitting in the tall legged oak canned child’s chair at the family oak table just as her mother did and then on the porch swing with her” friends” exactly as her mother did.   It was uncanny.  Hope I can find those long ago pictures.  It will make a nice comparison.

Then here it was, the Fall Equinox and a gathering in honor of David’s Life.  I think it was one he would have enjoyed with his favorite food, his favorite people, in his favorite place. 

I worked, with lots of help thankfully,  for 4 and a half months to make it happen in a way and in this place that would have made him proud.  It was a labor of love and thankfully a beautiful day. 

My friend Pam made all the table cloths and decorations.   Her” assistant” followed her everywhere.   Thank you Pam!   This was a load off my mind.  Thanks also to Pam, my neighbors Phil and Kathy and Pam Sprouse the loan and delivery of chairs and tables so I didn’t have to rent any and had enough. 

The food was David’s  favorite BBQ, both “Carolina Style” and “Virginia style” (meaning vinegar and sweet) from Paulie’s Pig Out just up the road, along with lots of pot luck fare brought by those who attended.   David never passed up a pot luck. They too were favorites of his.  There were two cakes for dessert,  of course they were THE CAKE for those of you who have followed us for the past 9 years.

With my camera, I took some of these pictures, Carrie took some, Pam took some.

But none of us got pictures of the delicious food.  Only this rather distant one from the end of the table as our nephew Ben serves up a plate after most everyone else had been through.

The tables were filled with family from Texas, North Carolina,  Pennsylvania, New York and Maryland as well as local neighbors and long time Charlottesville friends.

We’ve known Bob Mathany and Nancy, at the table below, since the late 70’s when we bought the farm.  Along with Bill Lanahan, Bob helped us reclaim the property and keep it up.   They are chatting with David’s sister Robin from Richmond.

Celia and her daddy Matthew are sitting with Roger’s oldest daughter Karissa from Texas.

Roger’s youngest daughter Abby and her fiancé Matt also from Texas.  They were married the next month and the Virginia family contingent attended their wedding in Texas. 

Carrie sitting across from our friend and co-worker at UVA Pam Sprouse.  She worked with David for many years at the GCRC.  Next to Carrie is her friend since 2nd grade, Kate VanDerbeek whose mother, my good friend Pam, sits across from her.  And of course way down at the end is Colin looking on.

Perhaps our oldest friends here at the gathering are the Deuchers, Ted and Lynne.  We’ve known them since our two daughters went to kindergarten.
Allegra, Carrie’s oldest friend, is sitting next to her dad and across from my wonderful friend Laurie, who like Pam has supported me in all things.  They lift me up.

David’s position at the University necessitated that he wear a tie.  He was very particular about his ties and they were unique as the people he worked with will attest.  I saved a number of them and had the men of his family each pick one to take with them and hopefully wear in his memory.   Here are some of them modeling the ties.

From the left is his cousin Brian, his nephews Justin, Ben and David (his namesake) and his older brother Roger.  Brother Randal, cousin John, brother in law Ernie and friends Bob and Phil also took ties but were not in this picture.   Wish I’d taken close up pictures of the ties.  They really were great.

While the grown ups were talking, the kids were playing.  The kids and David’s sister Robin that is. 

Robin gets around.  Here she is in the background.  In the foreground are  Niece Amy clowning (at which she is very good).  Robin’s daughter Ashley, her fiancé Tanner and me.

   Angela, our niece Amy’s wife,  Amy, Robin and me.  Is Angela a niece in  law?

Roger’s wife Carol chats with Carmen, Nephew Justin’s wife.  So wonderful of so many family members come so far.  Carol’s family from Texas and Carmen’s from Pennsylvania.

I’m standing behind Bob and Nancy.  To Bob’s left is our terrific neighbor Phil.  Next to him is Kevin Sumter a most amazing dancer.  Next to him is Phil’s wife Kathy.  They live on the front of the farm lane and have been wonderful in helping to keep an eye on the property in our absence. 

To Kathy’s right is Lisa Morales Kevin’s partner of 19 years.  They have been friends of David’s ever since he first started trying to learn to swing dance nearly 20 years ago.  Lisa is a marvelous instructor and dancer.  She and Kevin are our Fred and  Ginger. 

It’s difficult to believe that Lisa also has Multiple Myeloma, a disease neither David nor I had ever heard of, before  he got it.  Sadly Lisa died from the disease just a little over 3 months after this picture was taken and 11 months after David’s death.  So very very sad.  She was 10 years younger than David.

So glad to have my friends and family around me on this difficult day.

Time for dessert.  Chocolate cake with butter cream icing.  The traditional family cake.  Only David could make the delicious family pies.  DGB for David George Boyd.  We used our initials in many ways – DGB, SLB, CCB.  But this is the saddest one of all.

After the eating was over,  folks gathered together for those who wanted to share memories of David.  I’m afraid I didn’t get many pictures of those who spoke such loving tributes to him.  They had my undivided attention.  This is of his older brother Roger who started us off.

Remembering David.

Carrie, Allegra and Colin.

Roger toasts his craft beer loving younger brother.  His eldest daughter Karissa beside him.

Sorry I took no pictures of the clean up after wards.  Many hands make the task easier.  Celia carted some things in her mother’s childhood wheelbarrow.  It was a bit of a trick to keep it balanced at first, but she got the hang of it.

Everybody but Nana has something to push.

It seemed very quiet the next day after Carrie and her family left.   But some of the locals kept me company in the following days.  Several turkeys just outside the fence.

And bluebirds on the fence.

I feel like I’d finished a race and am exhausted.  I’d not gotten everything done that I wanted before the memorial so I’ll have plenty to keep me busy for the next 6 weeks or so before I leave to go back on the road.